Those Breakdown Kind of Cries

Do you remember as a kid getting so upset that you would just cry until you got tired and passed out? Or is it just me? I now have these fits as an adult. Except I can’t just pass out, I have work that I need to get done.

Every time I hear or see the words “Not Pregnant” (which in German is nicht schwanger, in case you were curious) I break down. I should have waited until tomorrow to go to the doctor’s and take the blood test. It could still end up being a false negative, but I doubt it. Which is why I took it today. I can sort of meltdown today. I have work and a class to teach after work tomorrow.

This time I was so sure. I am beginning to hate the phrase “When you know, you know.” What about all those times before you knew, when you thought you knew? Is this just me too?

I have been so emotional these past two weeks – I have cried almost every single day. And some of those were breakdown, bawl your eyes out kind of cries. This is one of the reasons I thought I was pregnant. I am taking hormones, but I have taken them before. I have never been this emotional.

And throughout this, my husband has been amazing. He holds me and lets me cry. He tries to talk to me about it and calm me down. Thank you so much for that BB! I don’t know what I would do without you. And I’m sorry that I get your hopes up.

For all my pregnant friends out there – continue to tell me about your pregnancies. I am so happy for you. Also, I want to live vicariously through you.

For all my friends out there who are trying to get pregnant – you’re not alone. Continue to reach out to me. And I promise I will continue to reach out to you.